Trust Me
by thelightningstrike
Summary: OLD & DISCONTINUED.
1. Trust Me

_Okays, so here's a new fic :O shock horror! It's a Lupin/Tonks fic- aww- and it starts before they were together when they were arguing and stuff, just after Sirius died. Hope you like! R&R (:_

"Honestly, truthfully, you must understand this, Dora, you really must. Listen to me, now. Do you understand?"

He takes hold of my shoulders and shakes me hard. I cherish the touch, but not the force, and so I still refuse to look him in the eye.

"Do you understand, Dora?" he shook harder, "this is the truth, the undeniable truth! Look at me!"

Instead I look away into the corner of the room, trying to look dejected, bored, even. He drops my shoulders as if they're aflame.

"Dora! I- I wish I could drum some sense into you! You're just as stubborn as James or- or…" his face crumples in pain, but I take this guiltily as my chance.

"_Sirius_ and James- as stubborn as I am! You admit it yourself! They were your closest friends, and you frequently remind me that I and they have similar attributes! And yet- you allowed them to become close to you! Why not I, Remus? What is it that they have that I do not, which bought your affection and loyalty? Tell me, Remus!"

He opened his mouth, but faltered, as I'd hoped. Maybe this time I would win the argument. Maybe never.

"You fail to speak because there is nothing so dissimilar! And so why am I not permitted to be close to you?"

"I didn't say you are not permitted, I would never say that. If you had listened, I was about to tell you why it was unadvisable…"

"Go on then. I'd like to hear this reason that causes me so much grief!"

Remus' pallor whitens, and it looks as if he's choking on his own words. "It's unethical," he says softly, bitterness engrained in his voice, "I'm a savage monster- you're a young girl! We would never- never be accepted into the modern society in which we live! You'd be shunned throughout the world, as am I! I am poor, poor beyond belief, because of the lack of job opportunities, because of what I am! Your salary alone would not benefit us. I am old- far older than you- it would be wiser for you to stay away- no- _trust me, Dora!_ It is not that I don't want to become closer- I am thinking purely of your benefit and your benefit alone! Trust me, please!"

"How can I trust you when I am not allowed to be close to you?"

"Oh I'm sure you'll manage, Dora! Find someone young, care-free. You don't want to be tied down to someone like me-"

"But that's exactly what I do want!"

"Listen! _Listen, _Dora! You need someone young and whole to lift the troubles from your shoulders- not burden you with their own! You'd be better off without me, trust me."

"I'm not so sure of that," I say defiantly, through my tear-clogged throat.

He takes one of my hands gingerly and encloses it in both of his.

"You'll just have to trust me, it's not much compensation, I know, but when this is all over and you've found someone else, you'll be glad I've distanced us. Trust me," he says softly, with a slight, pained smile, releasing my hand too quickly, and suddenly, quite suddenly, he's gone.

How can I trust him? I sink to the floor, knowing in my heart lies the answer, mocking me. I trust him; trust him with my own, pitiful life, for no greater or better reason, than the fact that I love him.

I sit for a while, reflecting, but then get to my feet. I turn on the spot with my wand out, ready for the sickly, squeezing feeling. I don't care where I'm going- I just want to get _out_.

I'm mildly surprised when I stumble forwards into Grimmauld Place. I walk quickly across the square to get inside, and when I do get inside I do my utmost not to trip over the umbrella stand.

Maybe I'm too clumsy for him, I think angrily as I lift myself up after falling flat on my face from trying too hard _not _to fall.

I slam the curtains around my great aunt shut and look around myself. Not much has change here since, since, well- I know it belongs to Harry now.

It seems as if I'm alone here, and a simple spell proves I'm right. Now I'm here, I don't know what to do. I'm supposed to be at the Weasley's for dinner, but somehow- somehow it seems to feel _right _here. I've never explored the whole house, my mother having being banished from here before my own birth.

I come to a stop at the staircase and hesitate before climbing it. I know which room I want to see, but I'm unsure or not whether it would be indecent. My curiosity overwhelms me, and lighting my wand, I begin to ascend the stairs.

I had never been in his room before- I don't think many could say they had. It was very grand, but Sirius, being the rebellious kind of guy, had tried his hardest to make it not so, I could tell. Gryffindor hangings littered the walls and everywhere there were photographs and posters. One picture in particular caught my eye, at eye-level on the wall. I stepped up to it, four young men were laughing back at me. I recognized Remus immediately, young and care-free. I wondered if he'd have wanted me then.

Sirius was grinning out of the picture too, happier than I'd ever seen him, his arm thrown around a dark haired, bespectacled man who looked so much like Harry it could only be his father. Different eyes, though- Harry's must belong to his mother.

The other man must be Pettigrew, then, the traitor who had framed Sirius, betrayed James and lied to Remus.

I turn away, a tear rolling down my cheek, and another picture catches my eye. A gloomy looking woman stares back at me. With a jolt I realised it is not a picture, but a mirror.

My hair is limp and mouse coloured, hanging to my shoulders, just the way I hate it. My face is blotched red with tears and my shoulders droop. I look a mess. I scrunch up my face and think of the way I want to be, closing my eyes. I concentrate really hard on the younger looking, bright haired, happy me I used to be. I open my eyes expectantly and close them instantly again as I see my appearance has not changed.

After several more unsuccessful tries, I slump backwards onto Sirius' unmade bed. Then I realise this was where Sirius last slept, and I fall forwards onto the floor. I lay there, numb. The emerald rug is comforting somehow.

Suddenly I remember my promise to Molly, and I flick my wand, non-verbally producing my patronus. I get a shock when a large silver form erupts out of my wand, and watch it prowl around me. I like the feel of its comfort, but its shape? Not only my metamorphosing has been affected, I see.

Nevertheless, I stand up to say aloud my message.

"Can't make dinner, too busy, sorry. Trust me, I am ok. Thanks, Molly."

I laugh at myself over using Remus' own overused phrase, and send my patronus on, watching the werewolf skulk away into the darkness.


	2. Mead and a Chat

_Okay, so here's chapter two! Sorry it took a while, I've been busy. Customary- please read and review!  
Oh yes, I'm kind of running out of ideas for James Vs Severus, thinking of putting it on a temporary hiatus, so could you tell me in your review if you think I should keep going or put it under the temporary hiatus? It'd help a lot.  
Thanks, Molly._

I busy myself only in my work for the next few days, throwing myself into my Auror tasks and not going near the Order if I can help it. I haven't seen Remus once, and it's been easier that way, for me, at least.

I don't really know what to do about any of it. He told me to move on, so I'm trying, I really am.

I'm at my mother's house, sat in the dining room while she busies herself preparing me some "much needed nourishment" as she called it. She's noticed my dilapidated appearance, and my Patronus, so she's decided to take it into her own hands.

I'm drumming my hands on the table when she comes in, bringing a tray of soup, rolls, granary bread saturated with butter, an apple and a cup of tea.

"Here you are, Dora, eat all that and you can have some pudding," she says warmly, ruffling my hair. She still thinks I'm five years old. Her hand lingers.

"Thanks, Mum," I say as brightly as possible so that she doesn't perform a cheering charm on me.

"Just trying to help, I like to see you happy," she says, frowning, and her hand leaves my head as she walks away.

I stare down at the food, not wanting to eat, yet not wanting to disappoint her. I settle eventually for the soup- at least that way I won't have to chew. The hot pea liquid warms my throat. It's comforting, somehow.

The phone rings. I hear my mother in the background, answering it. "Hello?"

She sounds pleasantly surprised, "Oh, hello, how nice of you to call. Yes, yes, all fine here, and how about your family?"

Can't be Remus then. He doesn't have a family. "Good, good. Dora? Yes, she is here, I've just whipped her up something to eat. Would you like to talk to her? Yes, yes, she'll want to, don't worry, it's not disturbing her, it's only soup."

She pauses, and then calls, a little louder, "Dora! There's someone on the phone!"

I get up heavily, reluctantly, tripping over my chair as I walk from the room. She's in the hallway. "Who is it, Mum?"

"Molly, Molly Weasley, here you are, dear," she holds the phone out to me. When I don't take it, she covers the mouth piece with both hands, and whispers, "_She _won't bite."

Anger swells at the taunt that could only be about Remus, but I take the phone anyway. "Hello?"

"Tonks, dear, how are you? Such a shame you couldn't come for dinner last week, but it's nice to hear your mother's feeding you up."

"I'm okay, thanks Molly. I'm sorry I couldn't come, had- er- had to go into the office. How's everyone else?"

"Fine, fine, Harry's coming next week, everyone's excited for that, Dumbledore's bringing him, did you know?"

"I didn't, actually. How is he?"

"Harry? Well, dear, I don't know if he's coping well at all. Hardly written to Ron all summer. Still, there's only been a week of it. Young Hermione's coming too, come to think of it, better get her bed sorted in Ginny's room. It's all systems go at the moment, what with, what with, _Fleur_, and everything."

"Fleur?"

"Fleur Delacour, young French girl my Bill's quite taken with. Still, it's just a crush, I'm sure. Say, would you like to come over tonight? To see Bill, I mean, to see everyone?"

"Er, I'm not sure I can come, actually Molly, you see…" Only I don't get to say my excuse, because Mum snatches the phone from my hands.

"She'd love to, Molly, I'm sure seeing you all would perk her right up!"

I can hear Molly down the phone, "She _did _sound a bit peaky…"

I groan and walk away, as the conversation turns to how depressed I'm looking lately.

I go back to the soup and finish it quickly, even though it burns my tongue. I grab the apple and take a passable bite out of it, then do the same with the bread.

Then I go back into the hallway. I tap Mum on the shoulder, and she turns to face me.

"Hmm? What's the matter, Dora, dear?"

"Nothing, nothing, just got to pop into the office, they think they've sighted- umm- someone- and it's all hands on deck."

She frowns, then looks worried. "Do they really need you?"

"Mmm," I nod, desperate to get away.

"Well, be careful, dear, stay close to Moody, won't you?"

I almost laugh, but the concern on her face stops me. "I will do," I say, and lean forward to kiss her on the cheek.

"Be careful, Dora," she says, with obvious sincerity, as I apparate away.

I arrive outside Moody's house, and run up the path. Before I can knock on the door, it swings open and I barge into him.

"I saw you coming," he says, motioning to his revolving glass eye, at the moment fixed on me. "So, to what do I owe the pleasure?"

"Just wanted a chat," I shrug, embarrassed now.

He walks back into his house. "Come in, sit down, be careful not to knock anything over."

Of course, I trip over a pair of shoes in the doorway, to which he grunts impatiently. He hobbles into his sitting room and throws himself down onto n old leather settee. "Sit." He points to the armchair opposite him, and I sink into it.

"_What_," he points his wand at the fireplace and a fire springs up, "is up," he points his wand at a glass cabinet in the corner and two glasses and a bottle of mead drift out and land on the small, cluttered coffee table, "with _you_?" He pours us each a glass of mead and hands one to me before taking a deep gulp of his own. Then he stares at me intently.

I take a measured sip from my glass, careful not to look at him. "I- I'm- I don't- I don't know how to put it."

"State the problem, and I'll do my best to fix it."

"Uh, well, I guess, my problem is that…" I go for the soft option, "I'm having trouble with my metamorphagusing?"

"And that's not all, so your mother's been telling me. What I want to know is _why_."

"Umm…"

"Cut it, Tonks, just say it. You're supposed to be an auror."

"I know, sorry, I am, it's just, er, I'm kind of…"

"Upset that Sirius died? We all are. That came as a ruddy shock, that did."

"No, not exactly, well, I am upset about that, of course, but that's not the reason."

"So what is it?"

"Remus…" I whisper so quietly I'm barely audible even to myself, but I know he can hear me.

"Remus," he repeats, putting an entirely different spin on the word, his face contorted into unmistakeable anger.

"No, it's not like that, it's nothing, I wish I hadn't come." I stand up.

"Sit down!" he barks, then continues in a softer voice. "What is it like then?"

"I… love him." I sigh.

Moody groans. "Trust you to fall for a _werewolf_, for Merlin's sake."

"It's not like that!" I yell, unable to stop myself. "I fell for the man, the personality, not for the being, don't you see? Doesn't anyone understand that?"

"Calm down!" he orders. "He rejected you?"

"Of course. He doesn't want to inflict his problems on me," I mumble, and take another sip of the mead.

"Well, at least he's got his wand the right way up! You can do better than a werewolf, Nymphadora."

I from and grit my teeth, my face set. "A werewolf is what I _want_."

"I see. You really love him, then?"

"Indefinitely."

"I might have to have a chat with young Remus."

"What- no! You can't! I only came here to get it off my chest."

"I don't like to see you unhappy," he says gruffly.

"I'm not, I'm fine." I stand up. "Thanks for the mead, and the chat, but I've just remembered I'm at Molly's for dinner, so I'd better be off."

"Of course. Of you go then. Shut the door on your way out, and don't…"

"Knock anything over." I smile. "I'll try not to."


	3. Dinner at the Weasley's

_Okay, here's chapter three, all I can ask you to do is read, enjoy and review!  
I have a new fic out, called Mischief Managed, which is centered around the Marauders, if you like James Vs Severus or this, you might want to check it out!  
Thanks, Molly x_

**Dinner at the Weasley's**

I arrive just outside The Burrow and pick my way across the unkempt yard to the house. I breathe deeply before knocking twice on the door.

I hear footsteps and get ready to bear my cheesiest smile.

"Tonks! Dear, how are you? You do look a sight, just like your mother said." My smile gets harder to keep up as Molly looks me up and down, a motherly expression on her face.

"I really am fine, thanks Molly, how are you?"

"Fine, fine. Do come in, dear, don't mind the mess. It's chicken casserole for supper, does that suit you?"

I follow her inside, laying my feet carefully around the scattered shoes. "Suits me fine, Molly, sounds delicious."

"Sit down, sit down, I'll just finish off the casserole, won't be a tick." She gestures to a place at the table, and I take it, taking care not to slouch in my seat.

"Are you sure you don't need any help?"

"Certain, I'd rather do it all myself actually, that way I know where I'm coming and going. So, dear, I hear you've been quite upset recently?"

"What gave you that idea?" I ask innocently, while cursing my mother to the fiery pits of hell.

"Oh, just your appearance, you don't look too good, you know," she says airily, and I remember that Weasley's are renowned for their unfaltering loyalty.

"Well I'm fine, thank you, just fine."

"Hmm. Go round to Moody's today?"

"How did you know?"

"I called to ask him round for dinner, he couldn't come unfortunately, but he did mention that you'd been."

"When did you call?"

"I was on the phone the second you arrived actually, ask him if you want."

"Oh. Well, yes, I did go round to Moody's, then."

"Have a good time?"

I hesitate, but then go for the lie, "Oh yes, I always do, he's a good friend of mine, Moody's, we had a laugh."

"Funny… he said you seemed distracted."

For Merlin's sake. Not another one on my case. "Did he? I can't imagine what he meant."

"He explained, actually. Something about unrequited love?"

"Well, they do call him mad…" I say, clutching at straws.

Molly turns from stirring the casserole to look at me. "Tonks- Dora," her face softens, "I know about Remus, love."

I can feel my face flushing. "I don't know what you're talking about."

"I think you do."

"What- no, I don't. Where does Remus come into any of this?"

"You're in love with him, Dora."

"What!?"

She comes to me and takes hold of my wrists, and lowers herself to my eye level. I shift in my chair, leaning away from her.

"Don't pretend. I know you love him. I know your predicament. I'm not going to judge you, dear. You're not my own to judge. I was wondering, however, if you might require my help at all?" She lets go of my wrists and goes back to the stove.

"I really don't…" She quells me with a stern look. "Okay, okay, I'm in love with him, happy? I don't know what you can do about it."

"If you wanted me to _talk _to Remus…"

"No. That's the last thing I want. He told me, he doesn't want me. He'd rather see me with someone young and carefree."

"No one's carefree nowadays, sweet. You have to live for the minute."

"But he won't! None of this is my fault!"

"I know, love, and I'm sorry, I really am," she says softly, then regains her business-like tone, "well, I've invited him round for supper, anyway."

"You did WHAT!?"

She doesn't get a chance to reply, as there is a soft knock on the door and she bustles to answer it. Before opening the door, she mouths "_Don't worry,_" and gives me the thumbs up.

"Remus! How are you, dear?"

"Oh, I'm fine, just fine, and you, the children, Arthur?"

"All fine here," she says, leading him in, "and I also invited young Tonks to the party!"

He looks up at me, stricken. I stare back. An uncomfortable silence follows, only to be broken by…

"Dora," he nods, averting his eyes from me, "how are you?"

"Not bad, not bad, and you?"

"Could be better, but then again, couldn't we all?" he says with a false hearty laugh as Molly goes back to her place by the stove.

She begins to babble about some unimportant thing while we both stay silent, our eyes fixed to the floor. I'm sure he's remembering our argument, and how we ended it, as am I.

"Tonks! Tonks!" Molly's impatient shouting breaks my thoughts.

"Yes, sorry, dazed off for a moment there."

"I was just wondering if perhaps you'd like to fetch everyone from upstairs- it's just Ron, Ginny, Bill and er, Fleur, I'm afraid, Charlie's still in Romania, Fred and George are above the shop and Percy, Percy, well, yes, it's just those four, if you please."

"Ron, Ginny, Bill, Fleur. Got it. Any idea where they'll be?"

"Bill and Fleur are in the sitting room, dear, and Ron and Ginny will be in their rooms."

"Gotcha."

I head upstairs first, to find Ginny. I knock on her door and she calls "Come in!"

"Wotcher, Ginny." She's sat at a desk, reading a book on the Holyhead Harpies. "Support them?"

"Oh yes, they're the only all-witch team, did you know?"

"I didn't, actually. Do you play?"

"Yeah, when Harry was banned from Quidditch last year I played in his place, a seeker, y'know, but this year, I'm going to try out for a chaser."

"Are you any good?"

"You'll have to decide for yourself when you see me join the Holyhead Harpies when I leave school," she says, laughing.

"Is that what you want to do, then? Play major-league Quidditch?" She's so easy to talk to, Ginny.

"I dunno what I want to do; I've got my OWLs coming up this year so I suppose I have to be deciding now, really. Did you always know you wanted to be an auror?"

"Pretty much. Oh, actually, we're supposed to be going down for dinner, chicken casserole."

"Cool," she says, marking the place in her book an setting it down on the desk.

"Just got to fetch Ron, and Bill and, er, Fiona, is it?" I say as we walk from the room.

She laughs. "No, it's Fleur, but I like to call her Phlegm."

"Good one, that. Where's Ron's room, then?"

"Oh, he won't like us going in, better to just yell."

"Okay, you do it then."

"RON!" she yells, very, very loudly.

We hear a distant "WHAT!?" echoing down the stairs.

"DINNER!" she yells again.

We listen, and hear the answering cry of "COMING!" and the thunder of Ron's feet running down the stairs. We walk down them ourselves and Ginny nips to fetch Bill and Phlegm, or Fleur, whichever.

I go back into the kitchen, where Remus and Arthur are sat at the table while Molly ladles out the casserole.

"Tonks! How are you?" cries Arthur.

"Fine, fine," I say as cheerily as possible, "can I help at all, Molly?" I say as I edge my way around the table, tripping over a chair.

She notices this and hurriedly replies, "No, no, it's fine, just sit down, dear."

By this time the rest of the Weasley's have traipsed in- Bill, long-haired, his arm around a very beautiful, silvery blonde woman that must be Fleur, Ron, gangly and taller than I've ever seen him, and Ginny.

"Hi, Tonks!" says Ron as he throws himself into an empty chair.

"Wotcher, Ron, you're looking tall."

He grins as he begins shovelling down his casserole. Ginny sits too and Bill and Fleur come round to me.

"Tonks! This is Fleur, my fiancé, and Fleur, this is Dora Tonks, a friend of ours."

Fleur eyes me up and down, then satisfied by my dilapidated appearance, nuzzles closer into Bill. "Bonjour, Tonks."

"Wotcher. You're French?"

"Yes, but I _can_ speak English," she says, sitting down next to Bill, leaving the only available space- right next to Remus. Great, just great, I think, as I trip over the same chair as I make my way to my seat.

Fleur gives a tinkling laugh, and Molly frowns.

I sit down carefully and begin to eat, careful not to brush Remus' arm or leg. It's extremely difficult, and I begin to wish I hadn't come, but it's too late to think of an excuse.

There's general chatter flowing around the table and I pick up on Arthur and Remus' conversation.

"Yes, the time is ripe for recruiting, I know, Arthur, but… I don't know… something makes me want to stay up here."

"I know it must be difficult for you Remus. I myself would have no idea what to do. Tonks? What do you think?"

"Hmm?" I look up, blushing.

"Should Remus try converting the rest of his, _ah_, kind, to our side again?"

"It depends only on what Remus feels comfortable with, and I fully respect his decision, and understand it." I look at Remus and he looks down at me, puzzled, until intuition lights in his eyes and he realises I was referring to his decision on us. We both look away hurriedly.

"Well said, well said, Tonks, and what say you to that, Lupin?"

"Well, Tonks has had the _strangest_ views in past times, but this seems a good one, at least. I'll definitely take it into account when I decide."

I blush even deeper and bend my head low to my plate.

"What are you doing lately then, Tonks?" asks Arthur.

"Just, work, you know, and stuff for the order obviously, but now they're sort of one of the same thing- at the moment I'm part of the team trying to track down my dear aunt."

"Ah, Bellatrix, lovely woman," Arthur mutters and gets back to his casserole.

Remus and I stay silent, both undoubtedly remembering whom she very recently murdered.

The dinner passes quickly after that and I make my excuses for a breath of fresh air. I go out to the garden and sit down on an old, rusty swing, obviously not used in ages. I lean heavily against the rope and idly swing backwards and forwards, not letting my feet leave the floor.

"Dora?"

I look up. It's Remus. "What? Has something happened? Have I been called in?"

"No, no, nothing like that, I just wondered, perhaps, if you'd like to take a stroll?"

"Sure," I say heavily, getting up.

We walk for a moment or two, deep in our own thoughts.

"Molly told me you've been quite upset recently."

I grit my teeth. "It's nothing for you to worry about."

"Oh, but I am. I'm worried that I'm the cause of the worry."

"Well, you're not. Happy?"

"Not exactly. You're sure I'm not the cause of your distress?"

"Certain."

He pauses. "I wish, there was something I could say, or do, to make this better."

"You know what I want."

"Tonks, you know what I said about this, it's completely…"

"Then there is nothing you can do. Thanks for the concern, Remus, but I think I'd better be going. Make my apologies to Molly, will you?" I say, and before he can answer, I apparate, leaving him alone in the garden.


	4. Fishy Phoenixes

_Sorry it's been a long time, but i had several weird plot ideas for this one and how it should go- finally decided on this. It's going to get a bit more light-hearted and hopefully more funny from now on! Thanks to all those who reviewed last time! Read, enjoy and review, if you wish. Thanks, Molly x_

**Fishy Phoenixes**

All work and no play, as the saying goes, is how it should be, and that's the sentence that's ruling my life at the moment. Ruling it, ruining it- you could say they're the same thing.

Everyone's noticing how downcast I am all the time and it's really starting to annoy me now. Can't I just be depressed without everyone commenting on it all the time?

At work it's the entire auror office, making jokes out of my appearance and asking me where Tonks is gone, because they can only see Nymphadora. I just ignore them.

At home, it's my mum, who's made me permanently move in with her again, cooking enormous meals for me all the time. It's my dad as well, when he'll suddenly go all serious and say "where's my silly sunshine gone?"

I'm sick of it, just sick of it. I don't know what to do, where to go, or who to talk to. It's driving me insane.

I arrive at him after another long shift of taunts about it and find mum in the living room, clutching a shocking pink leaflet in one hand and a mug of hot chocolate with marshmallows in the other. I groan.

"Here's your chewy choco, darling," she smiles and goes back to the leaflet.

"I asked you to stop making me these yesterday. I don't need one every time I get back from work, mum."

"Mmm."

"Mum? Are you even listening to me?"

"Yes, dear, I am making your dinner, just let me finish this…"

For Merlin's sake. I watch her read the leaflet, wondering what it could possibly be about to be so interesting to her.

Eventually, she lowers it and looks at me. "This might be very interesting for you, Dora."

Oh Merlin. It's for me. "What is it?"

"Blind dating. I'm going to book you a date for tomorrow night. It's supposed to be very successful indeed. Listen to this quote- this one right here- 'I met Archibald through your blind dating course- I married him two weeks later and have had a total of 28 children with him so far. We both have steady jobs- he's a goblin working for Gringotts and I'm working the Ministry in the Goblin Liaison office- we're perfect for each other!' Isn't that brilliant, Dora? Don't you want happiness just like that?"

I stare at her in disbelief. "What I don't want is to be knocked up by a goblin, have 20 odd kids and go on a blind dating course! What are you thinking? Are you crazy?"

"Of course I'm not crazy, dear. I just want to see you happy. And if that means that you marry a goblin and have 28 children, so be it."

"But not if I marry a werewolf? Mum, are you seriously trying to tell me you'd rather I be with a goblin than a werewolf?"

"A goblin wouldn't bite you, dear. But that's not the point- the point is, you're going on a blind date tomorrow night and you're going to enjoy it."

I stare at her as if she's gone mental. She has.

"Now, do you want turkey unicorns for supper? Or perhaps fishy phoenixes?"

Mental. Absolutely off her rocker.

"I'll do you a surprise, shall I? Yes, a nice surprise. Now, go and get in the shower, Dora, the water's nice and hot. Why don't you get into your pyjamas as well, get nice and comfy?"

I cannot believe her. She smiles and leaves the room. I stick two fingers up at her retreating back and storm out of the house, slamming the door.

I start walking, not really knowing where I'm going, and don't stop until my feet are aching and the sky is dark.

I throw myself down at the foot of a tree just as rain starts to fall. My tears soon join the wet on my face, and I hold my head in my hands.

Something silver approaches me from the gathering gloom. And I recognise Molly Weasley's voice.

"_Wherever you are, thought you might like a chat. Please come round, your mother isn't here_."

Sighing, I struggle to my feet and wipe my face. At least she's better than mum, I think as I apparate.

She's stood in the yard in an old green dressing gown, awaiting my arrival. She takes one look at me and rushes to hug me.

"Oh Tonks. Come in, come in. Don't worry, no one's here- your mother let me know you'd gone out, so I told her I'd send someone out to find you. You can stay the night here if you like, once she knows I've got you safely here. And then you can come for dinner this weekend too."

"Thanks, Molly. No, it's fine, I'll go home, I've got fishy phoenixes waiting for me."

"Well do come in for a while. Do you want a cup of tea?"

"Well… perhaps just one."

"Come on then, dear." She steers me inside the house and busies herself with the kettle. "So, blind dating then, eh?"

I groan. "She wants me to be happy, apparently. She said she'd rather me be with a goblin and 28 kids than with a werewolf."

"28 children with a goblin? Whatever brought that on?"

"Oh, well, there was this review of the dating service on the leaflet…"

"I see. Tonks, dear, do you actually _want _to date anyone?"

"Of course not! I'm waiting for him, whether he wants me to or not. I especially do not want to blind date. What good could possible come of it?"

"Hmm. " Molly comes over to the table and hands me a mug of steaming tea, before sitting down herself. "I think she really just wants to see you happy Tonks, like she's told you. We all do. None of us likes seeing you how you are at the moment."

I take a sip of the tea. "How did you know I like it with four sugars?"

"It's a talent of mine. Now don't change the subject. Why don't you try going on one of these dates and then if you don't like whoever it is, then at least you can say you've tried? How about that?"

"Hmm. I don't know, Molly. I really- I really don't want to go on one. I'm not in a fit state to be meeting new people- look at my hair, and my face- I don't know. I really don't want to do it."

"Then is there any way you know of that can get you out of it?"

"I don't think so. Mum's pretty adamant. As she always is about everything concerning me."

"That's only because she loves you, Tonks. You can't blame her for trying- she is your mother, after all."

"I don't want her interfering in my life, though, Molly. Sure, she can get worried about me, fine, but I wish she'd just stop trying to solve my problems."

"But then, if you can't solve your problems, and she can't solve your problems, then who can?"

We both know the answer to that one, and she sighs. "You can't wait for him too long, Dora."

"I know, I just…"

A sudden noise from the yard makes us both sit up, alert.

Molly goes to the door. "Who's there?" she says nervously. "Declare yourself!"

"It is I, Dumbledore, bringing Harry," replies a voice.

Molly flings the door open. "Harry, dear! Gracious, Albus, you gave me a fright, you said not to expect you before morning!"

"We were lucky" says Dumbledore, gesturing for Harry to come inside. He looks much taller, his face thinner. "Slughorn proved much more persuadable than I had expected. Harry's doing, of course." He notices me. "Ah, hello, Nymphadora!"

Harry turns around to look at me too, and double takes at my appearance. Can't say I blame him.

"Hello, Professor," I say as warmly as possible. "Wotcher, Harry."

I force a smile. "Hi, Tonks," says Harry.

"I'd better be off," I say quickly, not wanting to get involved in awkward conversation. "Thanks for the tea and the sympathy, Molly." I nod in her direction.

"Please don't leave on my account," says Dumbledore kindly. "I cannot stay, I have urgent matters to discuss with Rufus Scrimgeour."

"No, no, I need to get going," I say quickly. The fishy phoenixes are calling. "Night-"

"Dear, why not come to dinner at the weekend, Remus and Mad-Eye are coming-?"

Oh Merlin, not Remus. I can't stand another dinner like last time. "No, really, Molly… thanks anyway… goodnight, everyone." I nod a final time and Molly waves, looking worried again.

I walk briskly outside and apparate quickly before she can manage to persuade me to come back.

Before I can unlock the door mum comes running and flings it open. "Where _have _you been?"

She looks so worried I decide to tell her the truth. "I went for a walk, then to Molly's."

"I've been out of my mind with worry, you know! Absolutely petrified! Thought you'd run away!"

"Well, I haven't, okay? Look, I'll go on the blind date if you really want me too. Just _one_, mind you."

She beams with delight. "Oh Dora, dear, thank you, thank you. I'm sure you'll have a fantastic time. Would you like something to eat or did you eat at Molly's?"

"I ate there," I lie. "I think I'll just shower and go to bed, if you don't mind."

"Okay then, dear. Nighty-night. I love you."

"Love you too. Night."

I trudge upstairs and get into the shower, letting the hot water soak my skin and drive all thoughts from my head. In those five minutes of bliss- I'm not aching for Remus. I'm not even dreading tomorrow.

And then I get out of the shower, and it all comes rushing back.


	5. Blind Date

_Thanks for the reviews for the last chapter, enjoy this one!_

**Blind Date**

I'm desperately nervous as mum fiddles with my hair, trying to make its limpness look fashionable and the mousey colour look cute. The wretched blind date is in 30 minutes, and I'm wishing more than ever that I hadn't agreed.

She's shoved me into the most dire clothes imaginable, and has doused me with some disgusting smelling perfume which I can't even pronounce the name of. My face is plastered in makeup and my feet have been stuffed into high heels.

I look and feel terrible as she leads me down the stairs to show off her handiwork to my dad in the living room.

She gives me a firm push inside. "Hey, Ted, look at our Dora, all grown up!" I can even hear the 'finally' she tacks on wordlessly. She doesn't need to say it. She's been dying to dress me up for _years_.

Dad squints up at me over the newspaper he's reading. His eyes widen slightly. I don't blame him. I look like a drag queen. "Oh- Dora! You look- er- _lovely_! I- er- yes! Beautiful, darling! And- yes! Lovely!" He blinks again and buries his head back in the paper, the tips of his ears turning red.

I turn and glare at my mum, stalking past her into the corridor.

"Bye dad," I call.

"Bye- darling," he answers, and I open the door wide.

"Thanks a lot for making me do this, mum."

She bites her lip. "Oh, darling, it'll be fine. You go and have a good time, and remember to fall in love," she laughs. "You know where you're going, don't you?"

"For Merlin's sake, mum. It's the Leaky Cauldron, not Australia. Of course I know where I'm going."

"Go on then." She reaches up to peck me on the cheek. "Have a lovely time!"

I slam the door shut and apparate from where I'm stood, landing and falling ungracefully to the floor.

I want to just sit there, in the middle of the road, instead of going on this ridiculous date. I'm actually contemplating it when a hand appears from no where. I look up into the face of… "Remus?"

I take his hand and he yanks me up.

"What are you doing here?" we say simultaneously.

"Oh… I…" I shuffle my feet nervously. "You go first."

"Oh, I'm just here on, er, business. For the Order…"

"I see." I smile anxiously.

"How about you?"

"Oh…" I blush, embarrassed.

"What is it?" He looks me up and down for the first time and his eyes widen too, if only for a second. "Oh- a date?" Does he sound upset? Is there regret in his tone of voice?

"No! No… I'm just… well, it's silly, really."

"What is it? You can tell me."

"Well, my mum noticed I'm sort of… a bit… broody… recently."

"Ah…" He thinks it's his fault. Well, it is- but I don't want him to _know_ it is.

"So she- um- set me up on this, this thing…"

"A thing?"

"Like… well, it's a blind date, to be honest."

He hides a smirk expertly. "Oh, well, do have fun then. I mustn't keep you."

"Oh, no, you must. You see, I really don't want to go on a blind date at all. It's all my mum's idea. In fact- you wouldn't rather- go somewhere else, would you?"

"Dora…"

"Only for a while. It's just I really don't-"

"Dora, I can't. You have a blind date to go on, I have business to attend to. It's better if we go our separate ways tonight."

"Is 'tonight' a euphemism for _forever_?" It slips out before I can stop it and I instantly regret it.

He closes his eyes, looking pained. "I don't want to start this again. I'll see you later, Dora." He whips out his wand and disappears.

"Damn it!" I say, kicking the door post. Why do I always have to ruin our rare moments together?

I check my watch. Better be going in.

I push open the door slowly and cast my eye around the bar. It's quite busy with late-night drinkers just starting their rounds, so I slip over to Tom.

"Hello, Tonks! How are you?"

"Fine, fine. I'm- er- here for the blind dating?"

"Oh yes! Are you really? I didn't think you'd be the type… Yes, it's in the back room. We're running it separately to the bar area, more romantic, the wife supposed. Just through that door there, dear."

I make my way nervously to the wooden door and slip through it. Inside it's dim with candlelight, and cluttered with small, rounded tables in booths at which several couples are already dining.

I notice Tom's wife, Georgina, and she bustles over. "Tonks, dear, thank goodness you've arrived. Your date arrived very early, and- he's quite- stressed, to put it mildly. He's in the booth in the far corner, over there, yes? I'll bring you a – er- firewhiskey, I think would be best, in a minute, dear." She patted me on the back and bustled away again.

I walk over to the booth and inhale deeply before peering inside it.

Crap. The ugliest man I've ever seen is sipping a large drink noisily through a straw. I make to walk away, when suddenly-

"You there! You're my date! Sit down, now! I've been waiting a very long time for you, lass."

Cursing, I slip into the booth and sit down opposite him, taking in his grotesque appearance. A man with a handlebar moustache below a nose covered in boils glares back at me.

"You ain't what I expected." He grunts.

I glare at him.

"I fort it'd be one o' them blond'ns, like outta the magazines."

Ugh.

"But you'll do, I suppose."

Finally, I find my voice. "Perhaps I will, but I'm afraid, you won't do for me. You see, I was expecting one of those normal people, you know? Not a rude, obnoxious git. Goodbye."

I stand up and bump into Georgina, who's hovering with a firewhiskey. I raise my eyebrows at her. "I can't stay here."

"Oh, Tonks, please, your mum told me to make sure you didn't leave until…" she looks around the room desperately. "Ah yes, we've just had another young man arrive over there. 2nd booth on the right. Go on, dear, I'll take care of this charming fellow."

I sigh and walk slowly to my next date. What a disaster. I can hear Georgina reasoning with Boil Face behind me, who is insisting for his money back.

"Hello," says a voice as I sit down in the booth. I look across at my next date who- actually- isn't too bad.

"Hi."

"Greg."

"Tonks."

"Interesting name."

"Thank you."

"You don't look like the blind date type…"

"Neither do you."

"I lost a bet."

"Ah."

Georgina drops a couple of menus onto the table as she rushes past. I pick one up and open it.

"Your reason?"

"My mother. She can't accept that I'd like to be alone."

"Would you?"

I hesitate.

"You'd rather be alone than with him."

"W-what?" I look up from the menu.

"You're in love with someone, he doesn't love you, so you've promised yourself you'll stay single until he realises he loves you too."

"That's crazy."

"It's true."

I look down at my firewhiskey.

"Whatever."

Georgina comes to take our orders and then disappears again.

"You don't like guys like me, do you?"

"What do you mean, guys like you?"  
"Suss out everything about you in less time than you learn their name."

"You haven't sussed everything about me."

"Oh really?"

"Yes, really. You can't possibly know everything about me."

"Hmm. Well, correct me if I'm wrong, but you _must _be a Metamorphagous because your current skin tone and eye colour would _never _be found just together in the genes of a normal person, and your hair is far, far too limp to be really like that, which must mean that your powers are failing _because _of this guy." He smiled triumphantly.

"You're unreal."

"_And_, you're an auror, looking at your wand. It looks like a battle wand to me. Also, you're kind of aggressive."

I snort. "Seriously, you're annoying me now."

"Oh, I know. Why don't you take a guess at me now?"

"Fine." I stare at him intently, looking for signs of anything. "Aha! You're married!" I say, noticing a gold ring on his wedding finger.

He looks sadly down at it and twists it round. "Used to be."

"She left and you're still depressed."

"She died and I'm still depressed."

"Oh. S-sorry- I didn't mean…"

"It's fine. Don't worry- you weren't to know."

We sit in awkward silence for a moment, a minute; an hour- time seems to be lost with me at the moment.

"Why did you order Shepherd's Pie?" he asks.

"Comfort food."

"Thought as much. You really don't want to be here, do you?"

"Not at all," I pause and add- "no offence."

"None taken, I'm sure. I'd rather be someplace else too."

"Then leave."

"You wouldn't be offended?"

"Not at all."

"Why don't you leave then, too, if I'm going to go?"

"I can't."

"Why ever not?"

"My dear mother's asked the barmaid to keep an eye on me, make sure I end up falling in love."

He chuckles and scratches his temple. I notice a faint scar that runs horizontally down his neck and disappears beneath his shirt.

"How did you get your scar?"

"Ah… it's nothing."

"Looks like it was painful. Can I see? How long does it go on for? How old is it?" I stop myself abruptly. I've always had an embarrassing obsession with scars- I love the stories they tell.

He runs a finger along it absentmindedly. "It was very painful. It runs all the way down my chest- surely you wouldn't wish upon me the embarrassment of taking off my clothes to show you the extent of it."

I blush. "How did you do it?"

"A slicing charm. Someone whipped their wand the length of my body-practically cutting me in half- but fortunately for me it was only a flesh wound. Deeper in some places than others. I was in St Mungo's for quite a while- it kept getting infected."

"When… who?"

"I got into a bad duel while protecting my wife. There's no need for me to digress who- let's hope he rots in hell," he pauses for a moment, his eyes glazing. He smiles. "Now I find it rather unique- and it's always an exciting story to tell."

"Was that when- your wife?"

"I'm afraid so. She died by getting mixed up in the duel- it was as much my fault as the one that killed her."

"I'm so sorry."

"So am I." He twists the ring on his finger. "Do you want to get out of here?" His blue eyes gleam excitedly.

"What do you mean?"

"Shall we go? Just get out of here?"

"Where to?"

"Doesn't matter. Let's just do it."

Usually I'm all for spontaneity, but there's something about the manic gleam of his eyes that scares me.

He stands and offers a hand. "Come on."

For some reason, I don't even hesitate. There's something about him that makes me reach up and take his hand, and then we're off.


End file.
